Procedures Postponed (for now)

Hey everyone!

We’re postponing the liver embolizations (for now). Paul’s most recent scan this week thankfully showed no new growth and no increase in size of his existing tumors. (YAY! 😅 — I personally consider this a big win, relative to the circumstances! Paul, however, has mixed feelings on what a 'win' is, all things considered. He says “It's like winning a bet and then letting it ride… won’t know until the next hand is dealt.“) Definitely understandable.

We spoke with his surgeon and oncologist, and they both agree we can wait a little longer. They will do the next scan sooner (in three months rather than five), and then go from there. 

He’s going to absolutely need the procedures at some point in the near future, but they said we can wait until a new scan shows progression again. There are only a small handful of interventional treatments available for this cancer… and the idea is to ride out each treatment for as long as possible before moving onto the next one (so you don’t exhaust / run out of treatment options too soon). So… we wait. 🙃

We have so many contradicting feelings about this, and it’s just another unpredictable chapter in the absolute Mind F*ck 🤯 that is this cancer. We've been mentally preparing for this procedure for months.... and especially the last few weeks. (By 'preparing' I mean being INSANELY anxious, sleepless, restless, worried, etc.) Paul is still feeling very uncertain about it all, understandably, especially considering this doesn't change his ongoing crappy symptoms or prognosis. Part of him of course wants to just 'get it over with' considering he did the mental (and physical) prep-work, but he is going to wait it out. This doesn't feel like a 'celebratory' moment for him... more of just a brief pause in the never-ending f*ckery I think.

Thank you to everyone for such an unbelievable outpouring of love and support these last few weeks leading up to his (now postponed) procedures 🩷🩷🩷. I like to think that all of the extra love from our friends and family, offers to help, concerts, trips and spending time with his Aruba fam have a big something to do with his tumors being slightly less douchey. 🥰

Dayna